I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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