rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
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