I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
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