I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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