My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
