ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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