he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
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His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
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I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
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