Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
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