pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
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