In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
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