I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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