How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
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