Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
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