Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
