i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
wakey wakey hands off snakey
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
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