my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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