once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Acid is not a monday night drug
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
