Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
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