I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
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