Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
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