You just made me feel so damn special
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
