But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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