Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Every concussion has its silver lining
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Randomize
