Where did you get a picture of my penis
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
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