hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
