I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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