The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
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