Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
im six kinds of drunk right now
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
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