Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
