then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Randomize
