Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
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