Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
