Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
