yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
