FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
