Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
this beer tastes like vomit already
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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