I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
