I could make wine with my vomit
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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