singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Randomize
