I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
