im six kinds of drunk right now
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
