Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
