Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
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