we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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