Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
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