Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
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