Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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