Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
My ass is underappreciated
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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