Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Randomize
