billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Semen is not good for contacts.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Randomize
