apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Randomize