names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
