got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
Little spoons don't ask big questions
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
