You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
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