You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
