Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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